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The thought of being alone during the holiday season often brings to mind a sense of isolation and sadness but it doesn't have to. Whether you're alone for personal choice or life has hit some bumps along the way, there are ways to help you navigate the holiday hazards, and maybe even enjoy a few of them.  

  

Accept the facts. 

Avoiding the facts won't help but setting some expectations for yourself can go a long way. If you need to tell yourself "Holidays are going to be rough, and I probably won't enjoy them, but I will make it through" then do so. Despite what all the marketing and holiday hype tells us, it is okay to hate every minute of the holiday. 1 

  

Redefine your expectations. 

Watching TV, shopping, even just a trip to the corner store for a gallon of milk can be an emotional roller-coaster. All around us are depictions of holiday cultural expectations. But remember, there is no ONE way to celebrate. Don't lock yourself into one set of expectations that you must meet to be happy.   

In fact, just think for a moment about all the ways people spend this time all over the world. Not all cultures involve family gatherings, presents, and similar rituals. People have found other ways to commemorate these dates. Looking at the holiday season from a different angle may help you remove the emotional pressure. Reassessing your expectations for how the season will go instead of how it should go can help.2 

  

Make your own happy. 

Giving your time to others can be a great way to support your local community and provide the social interaction you may not realize you need. Volunteering can make you feel good about yourself and can also help you build relationships with others.  

If you don't feel comfortable with strangers, be willing to speak up at work or school. Let people know you will be on your own during the holiday and find out if there are others who may be as well. You can adopt each other for the season and celebrate together.3  

  

Treat yourself; you matter. 

Nutrition, hydration, sleep, and movement have a huge impact on your mental health. When those things go off the rails, all the negative emotions we’re already dealing with can feel even worse. When that happens, staying up on self-care feels even more impossible. It’s a hard cycle to be trapped in. To the best of your ability, try to tend to your basic needs so your cruddy holiday can at least exist on top of a sturdy foundation. It won’t fix everything, but it will help.  

 Give yourself permission to buy that one thing you have wanted but didn't really need. Take yourself to the spa, sports game or a movie, whatever brings you joy. You deserve a treat too. And of course, practice a ton of self-compassion if and when these practices don’t come easily to you, or you can’t manage them on certain days.1 

  

Review time. 

While there are many reasons and causes for being alone during the holiday season, it can be hard and that’s okay. Be willing to redefine your expectations, and don't hesitate to reach out to others. Togetherness, through volunteering or a shared holiday celebration, will help redefine what the season means to you. Take care of yourself, body and mind, and don’t forget that special fun treat. And finally, most important, YOU matter.  

  

References 

1. "9 Self-Care Tips for Anyone Spending the Holidays Alone". Anna Borges. Self.com, December 11, 2020. <https://www.self.com/story/holidays-alone-self-care> 

1. "Reframe your expectations". PsychCentral, November 18, 2021. <https://psychcentral.com/health/spending-holidays-alone-coping-tips> 

1. "Single and Alone for the Holidays? 6 Strategies for Surviving and Even Thriving the Holidays Alone". Sally Connolly. Mentalhelp.net, December 19, 2011. <https://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies-for-surviving-and-even-thriving-the-holidays-alone/>